Much of your happiness is determined by your habits of thought and action. You need to check them carefully.
Happiness can come in many different forms and is difficult to define. But unhappiness is much easier to define, you know it as soon as you see it or feel it. Unhappiness is deadly for you and those around you (like secondhand smoke). We followed participants in the famous Terman Experiment, conducted at Stanford University, for 80 years and found that those who lived next to unhappy people had a shorter lifespan.
Happiness has nothing to do with living conditions. A University of Illinois study found that people who earn more than $10 million a year are only slightly happier than those who work for them. Living conditions do not affect happiness much because happiness is actually under your control. Your habits and outlook on life have a role in your happiness. University of California psychologists say that genetics and living conditions have a 50 percent effect on happiness. The other 50 percent is entirely up to you.
As Benjamin Franklin said, “The Constitution only gives you the right to pursue happiness. But it’s up to you to run and catch it.”
When people are unhappy, it is much more difficult to stand and work with them. Unhappiness is something that drives people away. This turns into a vicious circle. Lonely people are more unhappy. Loneliness and unhappiness are holding you back from your reach. Unhappiness can come when you least expect it. Much of your happiness is determined by your habits of thought and action. You need to carefully control them and not let them drag you into the void.
Some habits are more effective at pushing you to unhappiness. In particular, the following 10 habits are among the habits that make people unhappy the most. Make sure you don’t pick up these habits by studying emotional intelligence and following yourself carefully.
- Waiting for the future: Constantly telling yourself “I’ll be happy when…” is one of the easiest habits to fall into. It doesn’t matter how you start this sentence (here when I get promoted…, when I get a raise…, when I have a new relationship…,) because this perspective puts too much emphasis on what is going on around you. Improvement in conditions alone does not bring happiness. Don’t waste your time on something that has proven to have no good effects on your mood. Instead, try to focus on being happy in the situation you are in right now. There are no guarantees what the future will be like.
- Spending too much time and effort to get material things: People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial situation improves, but this increase declines rapidly after exceeding $20,000 a year. There is a lot of research that shows that material things don’t make you happy. When you get into the habit of chasing material things, you are more likely to be unhappy because, in addition to the unhappiness you will experience when you get that thing, you give up the things around you that can make you happy, your family, your friends and your hobbies to get it.
- not leaving the house: You may not want to be with other people when you feel unhappy, but this is a huge mistake. Even if you don’t want to, socializing can quickly improve your mood. Sometimes there are days when we don’t want to pull the blanket over our heads and talk to anyone, but if it becomes a habit, it starts to ruin your mood. Notice when unhappiness starts to make you antisocial and force yourself to go out and interact with people. You will notice the difference instantly.
- Seeing yourself as a victim: Unhappy people often think that life is difficult and that it develops beyond their control. The biggest problem behind this thinking is that it creates helplessness, and people who feel helpless don’t try to do things better. Everyone can feel bad from time to time, but the important thing is to realize that it is starting to affect your life. You are not the only one who suffers from bad things, and you are in control of your future if you take action.
- Pessimism: The best fuel for unhappiness is pessimism. The biggest problem with the pessimistic approach is that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy as well as bad for your mood. If you wait for bad things to happen, more bad things will happen to you. It is not easy to get rid of these pessimistic thoughts without realizing how illogical they are. So take a look at all the facts you have and realize that not everything is as bad as you think.
- To complain: Complaining is problematic not only in itself, but also in the behavior it causes. Complaining is a self-supporting type of behavior. By constantly saying (and thinking about) how bad life is, you are confirming your negative thoughts. Talking about what’s bothering you can help you feel better, but there’s a fine line between pouring your heart out and complaining. In addition to making you unhappy, complaining can drive others away.
- Magnifying events: Bad things happen to everyone. Happy people see these as temporary inconveniences, while unhappy people see these events as proof that life hates them. When a happy person has a small accident in traffic on the way to work, he gets bored about it, but “It could have been a bigger accident, I got through it cheaply.” he thinks. For an unhappy person, that accident is an indication that that day, week, month or even the whole life is cursed.
- Sweeping problems under the rug: Happy people take responsibility for their actions. When they make a mistake, they admit it. Unhappy people, on the other hand, find problems and mistakes threatening and try to hide them. Problems get bigger when they are ignored. Unless you take action to solve the problem, the problem grows and you start to think that it is out of control. This makes you feel like a victim.
- Not developing: Unhappy people sit back and wait for life to move on because they are pessimistic and think their life is out of their control. Instead of setting goals, learning and developing, they just live and wonder why life never changes.
- Emulating others: Jealousy and envy cannot coexist with happiness. So if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, it’s time to stop. In one study, most participants said, “If others are going to make less money, then it’s okay for me to make less.” Try to stay away from this way of thinking, because it can not only make you happy, but also lead to unhappiness.
Changing your habits for more happiness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Also, taking control of your happiness will make those around you happy as well. What are you doing to be happy? Please share in the comments so we can all benefit from these tactics.
When people are unhappy, it is much more difficult to stand and work with them. Unhappiness is something that drives people away. This turns into a vicious circle. Lonely people are more unhappy. Loneliness and unhappiness are holding you back from your reach. Unhappiness can come when you least expect it. Much of your happiness is determined by your habits of thought and action. You need to carefully control them and not let them drag you into the void. Some habits are more effective at pushing you into unhappiness. In particular, the following 10 habits are among the habits that make people unhappy the most. Make sure you don’t pick up these habits by studying emotional intelligence and following yourself carefully.
- waiting for the future
- Spending too much time and effort to get material things
- stay home
- see yourself as a victim
- To complain
- magnifying the events
- Sweeping problems under the rug
- not developing
- emulate others